Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Top Ten Ways to Pop A Pimple

Pesky pimples are something all of us will encounter at one point in our lives. They tend to pop up, don't mind my pun, at the most inopportune times. Big date? You can be sure you have a big pimple. While having a pimply face is not a fun experience, one thing we all like is popping that big one. There is nothing more relieving than conquering acne vulgaris by squeezing the the bejesus out of a mountain size zit. So what are some of the best ways to pop a colossal sized pimple? Here are the top ten ways top pop a pimple.

10 Classic Approach
There's not much to this one. This is your classic pimple popping procedure. Two fingers, a squinted face, and 100 lbs PSI should do the trick. If you want, spice it up a little with a few strong q-tips and if your lucky enough you'll find that pimple you see in the mirror, is now on the mirror.

9 Take it To The Dermo
Ok, this might seem like the easy way out, but have you seen the equipment they are working with!? It looks like a short metal rod with a circle on the end of it. Put the circle around the end of the pimple, squeeze, and you have a freshly popped pimple. By all means, if you can get your hands on one of these tools, then you can have a great do it yourself pimple popper.

8 Traffic Jam Juicing
Just notice a large pimple on your way to work? Let that traffic jam work in your favor. Time to put that driver side visor mirror to work. Don't worry about what others are thinking of you. Set an example for clearer skin while driving down the interstate.

7 Need a Needle?
Sometimes no matter how hard you squeeze, the pimple wins the fight. When this happens you need to bring in the big guns. Open that junk drawer, quickly sanitize that needle and puncture for your own pleasure. This method is both effective and fun.

6 Invite a Friend
Nothing like sharing your pimple popping adventures with a fellow pizza face. Exchange popping stories; see who can get the most pus and farthest distance. If you are daring enough you can even have a friend get one of those hard to reach pimples located on your back.

5 Post Pimple Biology
This option lets you choose your own method when popping, the post pimple popping is the focus here. If available grab a handy old school microscope that has been sitting in your attic for decades. Grab a slide and see whats really getting under your skin when your frustrating pimples show up.

4 Bathroom Break Relief
Stuck in class all day? Sneak your way to the bathroom and try to leave your own graffiti on the mirror. Be careful though, you don't want to come back to class with a bleeder! That's major embarrassment.  You will come back feeling refreshed and suddenly calculus with start making more sense without that giant obstacle on your nose blocking the view of your calculator.

3 Fake Scratch Your Backne
Nothing more annoying than a big burly pimple on your back that you just noticed, especially when you're in public. There is only one solution to this problem. Give a yawn, lean back, keep a straight face, while you fake scratch your back and squeeze that pimple until it pops. Beware of how you dispose of the remains, you have to be clever.

2 Acne Massacre
This option is only available to those who have recently encountered a large breakout. Get ready, this can take some time. You are going to have to spend about 30 minutes, with multiple popping procedures to get every last pimple you've got. The key is to save all of the pus and pile up the remains like a battlefield on your bathroom sink.

1 Social Media Squeezing
This is the number one way to pop a pimple. Better make sure its a good one worth watching. Use a video camera, photo booth, or even take before and after pictures. Then simply upload them to your favorite websites, including Facebook, Twitter, or Youtube. Remember, everything looks better in slow motion.

There you have it. The top ten ways to pop a pimple. Everyone is a little bit different, so I recommend you consult your dermatologist before you go fighting acne by yourself. Until then, good hunting!
This Article was written by Alyssa Jacobs. Alyssa has a keen mind for health, and a sarcastic side of humor.

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